Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Randomize
