You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
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