Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
