and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize