someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
