I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Randomize
