11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize
