I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Randomize
