he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
