i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
