I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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