Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
