You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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