he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Randomize