just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
And then he peed in my hair
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