just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Randomize
