My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Randomize
