I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Enjoy the penises
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Randomize
