In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Randomize
