her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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