K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
True college students do jello shots in the library
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