She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
