I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
