It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
