i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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