Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Randomize
