I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
