I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
