if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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