Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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