Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Randomize
