ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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