Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
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