i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize