I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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