I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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