I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
