So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
