it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
