i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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