Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize
