I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
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