I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize