Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
