Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
