Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
