I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Randomize
