and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
