i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Randomize