Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I can tuck mytits in my pants
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Randomize
