is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
In other news, I just burned my penis
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
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