we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
