So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Randomize
