Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
