Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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