Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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