He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
