You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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