at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
