I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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