Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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