carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
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