Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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