I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
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