I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
