Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
Randomize
