I saw his package. It spoke to me.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
