I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
