How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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