I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
