he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Randomize
