come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
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