I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I just gift wrapped bread.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
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