we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Randomize