We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
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