I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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