So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
