Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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